The Universe wants to make you very happy.

That means giving you the most amazing love life.

A soulmate who makes your heart come alive every single minute of every day.

Or as one of my best friend’s described his wife: “the best thing to ever happen to me.”

By now, it should be clear that probably won’t come on dating apps.

It may - but call me old school.

I prefer to do it the ole fashioned way - letting my good friend Cupid call the shots, not some random algo.

So, you’re in a coffee shop.

Wow, that person is beautiful.

You can’t take your eyes off them.

They're stunning…and just your type.

They make eye contact with you.

You quickly dart your gaze away.

Sheesh - thank god. That was a close call.

Eye contact averted.

Could you imagine…making eye contact with another human being?? In this economy?? Ya right…

They call your order, you scurry to get your drink, you buzz out of the store, you never say hi.

At night, you’re on the couch on Hinge wishing you would’ve said something…cause what if….

What if she was meant to be your soulmate?

I mean people have met in crazier ways haven’t they….?

Now, let me present a better way:

What if you actually said hi to them?

I know you won’t because you’re scared.

But humor me:

So, you’re in a coffee shop.

Wow, that person is beautiful.

You can’t take their eyes off them.

They’re just your type.

They make eye contact with you.

You look back at them.

They give a soft smile.

You get your coffee and mosey on over to them.

You see they are reading the book “The Alchemist".”

Given that’s one of your favorite books, you strike up a conversation.

You guys keep chatting, the conversation is flowing, you both are smilling.

She mentions how she just moved to the area.

You say, “that’s so amazing, you’ll love it here. I’d be more than happy to show you around sometime.”

She says she’d love that and gives you her number.

You take her to your favorite restaurant.

Dark, intimate, candlelit.

Martinis freezing cold.

Conversation as electric as it first one.

And that’s the last first date you’ll ever go.

As the rest is history…

The moral of the story is this:

And this just so happens to be the mindset I think about whenever I need the courage to take a shot:

What if they were put there for a reason?

The Universe can’t do anything more for you than to bring you face-to-face with your soulmate.

It is counting on you to be brave!

It is working OVERTIME to make you very happy.

All you have to do is say hi…

& you’ll sail off into the sunset happily ever after…

Being the MAXIMUM version of you

Proudly, boldly, freely express who you are, what you want out of life, and who you want in it

Make THEM make the decision - are they in or out?

Finding the people meant to be IN your life is like finding a needle in a haystack.

You can drastically improve the odds by letting the people who aren’t about it / don’t align with your vision walk out of your life.

Let them make that decision for you…

If they want to unfollow you, not text you back, not go on a date…whatever

That isn’t a LOSS.

You only have so much time - and time is always of the essence.

If you get told NO, realize that’s actually a good thing.

It means that person/path/career isn’t the one for you.

GREAT!

Now we have our answer.

GREAT!

Now we can focus on the other options/paths available to us where the answer likely lies.

This strategy is the Ultimate win win win win:
1) get to be yourself
2) the right people stay
3) the wrong people leave
4) you’re freed up to focus on those who are already IN

Idk about you but I kinda love the fact that being the MAXIMUM version of yourself will scare off those who aren’t about it…

…and be the exact thing that attracts the people who are about it, into you.

Two mantras I live by:

#1: The Right People Always Stay

#2. Train Don’t Wait for Anyone

If someone isn’t going to JUMP at the opportunity to be a part of your life, you don’t want em anyways. In or out.

Remember - the right people always stay.

Your life is already full of so many amazing people. They got onboard instantly. Those are the people who deserve the beautiful destination you’re headed to

Time is too precious to waste & you’re too precious to be half loved…

Don’t take it from me, take it from TOP MODEL CANDICE SWANEPOOL:

@iheartfashionshows”he acted like he wasn’t interested in me and so i was like, why?” #candiceswanepoel #victoriassecretangel #victoriassecret #iconic #girlblogger #real #fyp #fördig #foryou

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“He acted like he wasn’t interested in me and so I was like, why?”

Let that sink in

She could have anyone…and who is she thinking about?

The guy who didn’t seem that into her.

That is simply just human psychology 101…

That is really all you need to know about game, but let’s get into it:

THE GAME VS PLAYING GAMES

They say “play stupid games, win stupid prizes”

Now, there is a difference between playing stupid games and playing THE game.

If you remove yourself from the picture and take a higher view (say you’re cupid playing matchmaker), you understand certain dynamics increase a couple’s chances at falling for each other

It all comes down to basic human psychology:

1. People want what they can’t have

2. The mind loves unresolved mysteries

I mean you are guilty of it.

You check your phone to see if that person has messaged you back !

If they don’t message you back (which, believe it or not has even happened to your humble author. It was in 2017 I think. She was kind enough to call my home phone to let me know that her phone carrier had an outage and not to freak out and wondered if she was ghosting me).

Nonetheless, I could see why you’d freak out and wonder what’s going on.

Girls ESPECIALLY love mysteries…

Ever notice how they all listen to murder mystery podcasts all the time? Tells you something...

3. Tension creates attraction

The same way the best part of any movie is it’s climax - the peak of the struggle between the protagonist and the antagonist (google it)

The same with any good romance novel - you feel like it just may never work out…

When you desperately want it to work out, that creates the foundation for it to

The heart is not a logic-driven organ….

Your mind, however, is logic driven.

Or it should be, but it seems a lot of you operate without it as well.

Your mind says:

“Why can’t they just text me back?”

“They’re an adult, if their phone is in their hands why don’t they just text me immediately?”

That’s just not how it works sweetie !

Don’t hate the player - hate the game…

Would that be nice? Of course

Is that how it works? Of course not

WHY LOGIC DOESN’T WORK IN DATING

The game is the game.

You basically have to play it, so let your pal Jazzy teach you how to play it.

After all, I was quite the athlete back in the day (2x All League honors in football, Little League Championship MVP, 75 career low in golf).

So I know a thing or two about sports - and winning.

That said, this isn’t about playing games.

It’s about understanding how to flirt playfully.

And really, this is to benefit you BOTH.

Games are at the detriment of each other - raising anxiety, etc. - and that is not what we stand for here at the Local Legends Club.

When you master how to flirt playfully, you both benefit because dating becomes MUCH more fun for both parties.

That tension raises the level of attraction to the point where when you finally see each other, it’s dynamite at first sight, wanting to rip each others clothes off, passionately kissing as you unlock the door, etc etc….

You know….

YOU’RE JUST NOT GOOD AT IT

You’re literally pushing away the person you want most -__-

You’re too available.

You’re all over them. You’re clingy.

It just pushes them away.

Remember - people want what they don’t have.

You’re taking away the fun of it all.

There’s no mystery, no tension, nothing for them to “work towards.”

You think this is being a “good guy” but what you’re actually doing is killing attraction

And that sucks…and I know it’s made you frustrated about dating…so I want you to fix it.

The big caveat is: YOU CAN STILL BE YOURSELF WHILE DOING A BETTER JOB OF PLAYING GAME.

Make it more fun for each other.

WHAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO LEARN

How to get them to chase after you:

• The psychology of desire (and why your current approach is backwards)

• How to create healthy tension

• The push-pull dynamics that pull them in

• The art of creating mystery

• How to make them chase you

Let’s get into it.

Subscribe to keep reading.

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So clearly it struck a chord.

It’s the perfect example of why everyone thinks “dating sucks".”

Reading thru the comments, it’s no surprise:

• All the girls agreed with the girl’s stance

  • I am in their camp - she is in the right & he is in the wrong

• Every dude in the comments is freaking out using this as an example of how girls are trying to “use” guys for a free meal

  • Total non-sense

Before we get into it, I have a few quick thoughts:

1. You dudes are so stupid - you will will GLADLY lose hundreds of dollars sports betting or going to the bar (to talk to no girls)….but when it comes to actually taking a girl out, that’s where you draw the line??

   1. My brother...what BETTER do you have to spend money on than a beautiful night with someone beautiful?

2. The guy who does better than you OFFERS to take a girl out to dinner on the first date. You’re just cheap

3. If you aren’t willing to spend a couple hundred bucks to see if a person is your soulmate…I’m not sure so love will smile as kindly upon you

   1. Tom Ford: “you can’t win the game if you’re not in the game.”

   2. The game is the game. Play it or don’t. But, if you aren’t willing to to play it, don’t expect to win it.

Let’s get into it:

Now, before we do, this just reminded me of a hilarious line some legend dropped on me in the jacuzzi at Chileno Bay hahahah (it’s soooo good)

We were all chatting with him & told him how my sister just got married there

He goes, “If I may…a piece of unsolicited advice…I am on my 4th marriage, so I am starting to get the hang of this whole thing….”

I was laughing so hard I almost spit out my Chilenito (which for those of you who don’t know…it’s their signature drink: mezcal, pineapple, ginger, ancho chile bitters. So good you’ll want 15 of them…)

Anyways, an amazing line. Epic dude. Fun hang.

Anywhooooo…

By now, you should’ve figured this whole dating thing out.

I could write the book on dating...just never planned / wanted to.

HOWEVER, it’s come to my attention that

the advice you people listen to (on both sides) is so bad it’s legitimately ruining dating....

Saw a stat that 70% of people have given up on dating altogether...which is absolutely horrible for society

Love is the secret level to the game of life. It’s the reason we are here.

There is no greater journey than going through the journey of love - meeting your soulmate, falling deeper & deeper in love everyday, and spending your life with the “best thing to ever happen to you.”

Think of it like an Easter Egg Hunt - it should be fun !!

What better journey is there?! There is no better surprise than meeting your person & knowing:

“Oh…it’s you. It’s always been you…”

How magical will that feeling be? You’ll be literally floating on cloud 9000.

You aren’t hearing dating advice like that on the Internet are you?

It’s all just toxic nonsense - “women suck” “no men suck” “men are the prize” “no women are the prize”

And of course, “I dont chase, I attract” as they all sit at home….lonely…

That’s where your pal Jazzy steps in:

Stepping up to be a voice of reason for what actually works & not these dorky dating strategies spewed all over the internet.

The biggest problem is no one seems to be having fun dating.

Which is why you suck at it.

Because the secret, as with all of life:

The more playful about it, the better it goes

The better it goes, the more you win

The more you win, the more fun you have

The more fun you have, the more playful you are about it

Cycle repeats.

Let’s get into it:

1. Why you struggle dating

2. How to stop blocking yourself

3. The approach that makes you do 1000x better

4. How to attract the people you want

I can’t be giving all the secrets away for free so Subscribe to get access to the Book of Dating :)

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Pretend to be unavailable (really you’re just sitting at home…alone).

Low profile.

No one gets a flavor for you / your life.

In reality, you’ll get forgotten about…unless you’re truly that guy

Option 2: The myster becomes wanting to be in your life
Be so interesting that the mystery is them wanting to know everything about you.

They wonder what it feels like part of your world.

Open up your world so those who want to be in, can be.

They got a taste and want in.

Beauty of this is you’re always top of mind. Not only does it attract the right people dating, but it also brings you friends, business connections, experiences, and opportunities…all of which combines to make your world the place to be.

Choice is yours.

Just remember - no bonus points on your deathbed for “playing it cool”… just for living the life you’re capable of

We are going to get you to be in the latter camp.

Here’s how.

Think about all the love you have.

Truly think about it. Close your eyes.

Your family, your friends, your people that are still your friends you’re not even THAT close with, your bosses and colleagues.

Think of how those people talk about you.

Think about how their faces light up talking about you.

Feeling a bit better?

Ok here’s the kicker?

Think of all the love you have for YOURSELF

Honestly envision the little 12 year old version of you.

Think of everything you’ve done to get where you are now.

Think of all the highs and lows. The good and the bad.

Think of how hard you try.

Think of how well you’ve done.

Look at your track record - think of how you always get it right.

Or if you haven’t, how you’ve kept going, how you keep pushing.

Think of how you love and what a bright spot you are in others lives.

Arent you proud of yourself?

Don’t you think you deserve the world?

Realize how much you really do love yourself and how you are deserving of all the love, especially from you.

Okay, good.

Now imagine a cup.

Take all the love you have for yourself and the love you have for others.

Of course its overflowing

you are in a total abundance of love.

So what should you do with it?

SPREAD IT! SHARE IT!

You are already in an abundance so spread it.

Honestly, it doesn’t matter the love you get back - you’re already overflowing with love!

Since you don’t need it in return, you are free to spread all the love you want.

You spread love because it feels good to spread love.

Love is the highest/best emotion and by being in a state of love and always feeling good, you spread love, which makes you feel even better and more loved

and you know what - you get even more love back.

and sure, sometimes you wont get love back but again it doesn’t matter you’re already overflowing

the more love you spread the more you get back

and your cup is already overflowing so be generous

From this place of abundance, you naturally do things out of love: complimenting a stranger’s smile, celebrating others’ wins, or sharing kind words simply because you’re already happy and full of love.

Most people operate differently - they do things to get love back.

When you don’t feel you have enough love, you seek it from others, turning love into a transaction.

But love isn’t a trade.

True love doesn’t derive its value from reciprocity; it just flows from the heart.

This is the key difference between doing things out of love versus for love.

When you act hoping to get something in return (doing X to get Y), you’re not free - you’re trapped in a trade, dependent on the outcome.

You get happy or sad depending on if you get love back.

But when you act purely from your overflow of love, expecting nothing back, then you become truly free.

You can wear your heart on your sleeve, express emotions openly, and love abundantly because you’re not attached to the response.

You’re doing it because you’re so loved you feel an abundance of love, enabling you to freely express that love, without needing it back, but you end up getting it back 10x.

Here’s the beautiful paradox: when you’re already full of love and don’t need anything in return, that’s precisely when love flows back to you most abundantly. But that’s not why you do it - you do it because you’re already complete in your love

You’re only truly ever free when you’re doing it out of love, not for love

So you have to meet them out in the real world.

This is actually good news.

When you’re personable, charismatic, confident, and good-looking, this plays into your hands.

The best people are flooded with options on the dating apps.

Take it from me, it’s almost too much so you just lose interest.

That’s why in person is better. You instantly get to meet someone, feel out their vibe, and see if there’s a connection to setup a date.

Unfortunatly, most guys struggle with talking to girls in person because they don’t know what to say.

Here’s a recent example of how to successfully strike up an in-person convo at a Farmers Market:

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It all worked out

Obviously, right?

Of course my sister is getting married in Cabo. Obviously. Like she’s always wanted and we always figured would happen. Obviously.

And so I’ve just been thinking about how things obviously are going to work out for her, me, you, everyone.

You don’t know how it will work out - just that it will & work out better than you planned. You don’t know the details and you don’t have to. They’ll take care of themselves.

Sit back and enjoy the ride of life like her & my dad here. It’s all going to work out. Obviously.

How much happier would you be if you just knew things were going to work out? What would you worry about?

“Oh just go”

This is what my mom said to my sister when she was debating whether or not to go on a first date with her now husband. Think about that !! Like think about it! It almost didn’t happen hahaha. What?? And it’s crazy just how delicate the ways our lives work out are. One chance not taken and it would be totally different. You can’t tell which chances are worth taking until you take them. It’s like fishing - if you want to catch a lot of fish, you have to go fishing a lot. You can’t predict the days that will be good and bad. If you want to get lucky, expand your surface area for luck. You do that by being out in the world. Leave your room - there is no room for magic sitting in your room !! You better have a damn good reason as to why you *wouldnt* go. Sure, sometimes it’s a waste of time. But you were going to waste that time anyways sitting on your phone / watching TV lol. Then, there’s times that change your life. As my friend Andrew Mow says, “worst case, you have a great time.” Oh just go…

The Result Isn’t Gonna Change

Related to the above, my sisters now husband did not rizz her up lmaooo. His line to ask her to go out with him was “I’d like to take you out to a top-notch dinner.” Not quite how they teach it up these days haha. But you know what - it worked out!! And you know why?? It’s because the result isn’t gonna change !!

What is meant for you won’t miss you !!

You don’t have to worry so much about being perfect.

What he did right was he sent that text message, whatever it is. He made the move. He attacked.

Even if the text wasn’t great, it was INFINITELY better than the one he’d try to craft up to be perfect, not think its good enough, and ultimately never sent. Maybe you’ve done that before.

And so what matters it to just do things. If it’s meant to work out, it will…no matter what you say.

True of dating, going for your dream job, taking business risks, whatever.

Put things in motion. If it’s meant to work out, it will. If it wasn’t, it won’t.

The result isn’t gonna change.

Dating isn’t as complicated as the modern world makes it: marry your best friend.

Spent the weekend with our best family friends, many who have 30+ year marriages. It confirmed something I already knew: love is about companionship. You should marry your best friend. related, love is not reserved for just for romantic relationships either. I love my best friends as much as I’ve loved anyone. Same for my sister, parents, etc. But on the romantic front, looks fade, sex happens less, and even the relationship changes as it goes from being between 2 people to being about more than the 2 people (and being about their kids). Seeing everyone this weekend they’re all best friends with their partners. And that’s why it works. Find someone you can’t live without

Find someone who makes you better

My sister’s husband’s (!!) vows had everyone in tears. The part that really got me was when he said how there isn’t a single part of him that isn’t drastically better because of her. How awesome is that?! They’ve both made each other so much better and that’s what it’s all about. None of us are perfect and it isn’t about that. It’s about becoming who you are capable of becoming, and how great is that to have a partner who does that for you. How much more can they redefine your own potential? How could you not love someone for making you be the person you were capable of becoming ?!

It’s all about people

In my wedding speech, I asked everyone to take a look around to each other and realize how lucky we are. We were so lucky to be raised by a village - and a village of incredible people at that. I made an effort to go around and thank all the parents that impacted our lives because the impact they had on us becoming who we are, can’t be understated. They all said the same things to me: “pay it forward. Be that for your kids and their friends”. And that is our job. 

Its all just moments - and they’re fleeting

That’s all it is. In a flash, my sister is married. Her wedding she planned for years is complete. And now it’s onto the next. Life happens so quickly and we’re all overly stimulated (phones). If you’re not present, you will miss one of the biggest moments in your life. I try to be present by just realizing I’m in one of those moments. We all did and everyone had one of the funnest weeks of their lives. That’s important. Sure, work is important too, but, as I say…

The work will always be there

I was kinda getting blown up with work during the trip.

I said to myself, “you know what, this is my sister’s wedding. One of the biggest moments in my family’s lives and certainly for her. I am going to be there for her and be present.”

It’s basically impossible to not get inundated with work since its everywhere - texts, emails, instant messenger, etc.

Just put it away. Tell them you’re not available. You’ll check it next week. And stick to that plan.

The work will always be there - my sister’s wedding won’t be.

Some things in life only come once and you better enjoy every moment of it when you get the chance.

Even if work gets mad or whatever…they won’t even remember it in 5 years. But the memories you made at your sister’s wedding? Ya, you’ll remember that much longer.

In fact, I’ve got a job to do and it’s to bring the energy to make sure its the best party ever: